Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Catching Up

Well, well, well… It has been so long since my last post, that I’m not sure where to start. A combination of so many things has been my excuse to stay away from posting on my blog – none of them individually sufficient to be excuse not to post.

Until a little over a week ago, I was religiously in the habit of calling and/or e-mailing home EVERY day, or at least every other day. My distraught family pointed out to me that I had faithfully done so since mobilization in November, and in so doing, set an expectation that left them wondering if I had been hurt when I didn’t keep up with precedent. My poor mother! I spent the first ten minutes of my first call in five days assuring her that there would never be a need to be that concerned, afraid, worried – that, in fact, if so much time passed, she should just get mad at me because it was certainly a sign that I was neglecting my commitment to stay in touch with home and nothing more or less.

I’ve been distracted by the bombings in London and elsewhere, by the overwhelming sense that we can’t possibly be doing anything here in Iraq to deter this mess. What does the world out there think? I really think we bit off more than we can chew.

I watch each little facet of researching, chasing, exploiting testimony from my vantage point – asking myself if one more “terrorist” off the streets really means there won’t be another right behind him building another home-made bomb, killing more of his brothers and mine. We have our own human targets we’re tracking here, some much more dangerous than others. Sometimes we’re finding them – “winning” – and sometimes they’re evading us; however, it seems either way presents a real-life game of Risk. People are dying. People are DYING!

I have several more posts to put up, trying to catch up on happenings here. For those of you who had been seeing comments from me on your blogs, I apologize for my recent absence. I am now finally working on catching up with my backlog of personal involvement and awareness in the bloggosphere. Thank you for staying with me on this journey. I’m strong, but I need the support. I really need it. Thank you all. More soon.


At 7/12/2005 4:39 PM, Blogger Mary Godwin said...

Tommi, Tommi, Tommi ... you are SO "your mother's daughter," and so beautiful for being you, but you don't have to worry about the "connection." We're doing fine. I've gotcha, Baby.

And about the people you are caring about, the people you can see alongside you suffering from this war in so many ways differently than you, about the people you see dying or know to be dying ... Yes, Dear One, people are dying. There are too many people dying, and I can feel your heart heavy for the pain you are experiences as you see the losses that others seem more easily to dismiss. Pause. Breathe. And find encouragement in knowing that more and more Americans back home are beginning to see some of the losses that even now weigh so hurtfully on your heart. Be encouraged that there ARE other soldiers in the field who care just as you do, see the pain just as you do, and are striving - as you do - to "connect" with others and to keep telling the story so that more people who are willing to engage the work of seeing, feeling, and processing this realities of this war on more sober frequencies will be better equipped to do so.

There are others carrying this dreadful load with you, My Child, and if you can find a way to trust the increasing number of us who, caring as you do, will not abandon the watch until the madness is over, then you might be able to take rest in that trust and find some room to breathe in the knowing.

You need to rest your heart as you can, my Tommi. You ARE doing what you can. You ARE being faithful to your heart, and you ARE loving those people you can with all the love you have been equipped to give, true to the woman you were made to be by the God (and mom) who made you.

I'll say it again, Dear One ... I've gotcha. You are never alone!

At 7/13/2005 11:35 AM, Blogger bdg said...

Your mother is so wise and caring, my dear. Listen and do your best to hear her. This world is so full of injustices and deceptions that to not be discouraged and confused from time to time is to ignore everything past your nose! You have never been one to do this and so must suffer the consequences. But don't be alone there. We are with you in heart, mind and spirit. You are doing a faithful work and will not go unrewarded for it. Stay strong, remember who you are and from whence you have come. This too shall pass.

At 7/14/2005 1:25 PM, Blogger Kat said...

I've been away and had limited computer time to read my favorite blogs. Just letting you know I'm still here rooting for you. You have a fan on sunny Cape Cod who's thinking about you. Be well! Be Safe and write your mother!


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