Sometimes I miss the airfield

the one with the helicopters
where we kept company with
O'Douls and chips and salsa
and sometimes a DVD on the player
there was no movie rental place
just a dusty warehouse
Walmart-like store
where we could buy them
I miss the romance of escape
the fact that there was something
legitimate
from which to escape in the first place
turmoil
and loud generators
people dying
and loud helicopters
incoming rounds
and the promise of home
just around the corner
what an odd interim to fill
what a reservoir of anxiety to spill
washing myself with it
on the north side of the airfield
watching constellations
and flares
coalesce into memory
and hope

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I've been home for about twenty weeks now. I have an apartment and more time to catch up with family than I could have imagined. I'm still living on the money I saved while deployed and planning my next move. I edit here and there, dance in the livingroom when no one's watching, brood, cry, laugh, watch movies, read read read -- blogs, newspapers, and books -- plan, drink coffee, and celebrate waking up daily in the most comfortable bed on the planet.

I have full time just-in-case employment lined up to begin during the August/September timeframe in Indiana. Meanwhile, our "clan" appears to be reuniting in Minnesota again for most of the summer. I'm so excited. I am finally going to camp out regularly... take a trip to REI or Gander Mountain and BUY STUFF! I have been meaning to equip myself for camping excursions for years, and I'm finally going to follow through.

I am aiming for a more purposed educational pursuit as early as this fall. However, typical deadlines for fall registration have passed, and I have lots of research ahead of me if I want that to be even remotely possible. I haven't been publishing via blogs for nearly two months, but I have been reading. I posted for several weeks on a new blog (genius drivel), begun in participation with Mary's composition class at Purdue. I'm sure I will get back to that, give it a makeover, and/or resume this blog with some modest changes.

Watch for me. I'm here. I'm tired, and I thought the easy part would be coming home.

It wasn't.

God bless the military service members who are still in Iraq and Afghanistan -- and the hundreds of thousands who are still on their way -- and give them strength in reserve to fight the battle ahead of them, the battle of coming home. All the way home.